Rubbing out out, having a wank, flicking the bean... whatever you call it, many are doing it

Many of the clients I see report struggling with their solo sex practice. 

Masturbation - or solo sex - involves touching parts of your own body for sexual pleasure. It’s an incredibly common sexual behaviour that is free, accessible, and healthy. 

In fact, 78% of adults in the world are masturbating. And 57% of millennials are masturbating weekly, more than any other age group (TENGA, 2022). We’ve also seen a rise in solo sex practices, and sex toy use since the pandemic hit (Coombe et al., 2021).

Of those who masturbated, gay and bisexual people were 20% more likely to masturbate weekly than their heterosexual counterparts (TENGA, 2022). 

But it’s not just adults who enjoy solo sex. 91.1% of teenagers were masturbating, with young men doing it more than young women or gender diverse folk (Kauer et al., 2022).

Masturbation can happen at any age, and this is completely healthy and normal. 

There are many reasons why we should have solo sex.

+ Is a form of safer sex - you can’t get pregnant or catch an STI

+ It allows you to get to know your body 

+ It can be done with others - called mutual masturbation 

+ Practicing it can boost confidence and self-esteem

Looking at this list, masturbation appears to have benefits some medications can offer, but it’s free! 

As a sex therapist, I always ask about masturbation behaviour in clients. This is because our relationship to our bodies, our pleasure and masturbation is important. 

I want to know how people engage with their pleasure because it often reflects how they engage with it in partnered sexual contexts too.

Meaning, many people who are masturbating will focus on the end goal of orgasm or ejaculation. 

When asked, many of my clients state their relationship with masturbation is to ‘get it over with’, and some will spend as little as 2-3 minutes doing it.

This ‘rub one out’ mentality of masturbation is often paired with the use of pornography. 

My concern around this kind of engagement with masturbation is that people can become disconnected, or dissociated from their bodies. This might become habitual, and start to happen during partnered sex too. 

I also notice that many clients who masturbate in this way experience a lot of performance anxiety. 

They’re often preoccupied by their own sexual function, worrying about whether they’re hard enough, wet enough, or orgasming enough/at all.

The way you have sex with yourself can reflect how you engage with pleasure with other people. 

So instead of disconnecting and being preoccupied with sexual function, I invite people to consider reframing their experience as self-pleasure, and slowing things down. 

Self pleasure is different to masturbation in that it is not defined by ejaculation or orgasm, but by our curiosity to explore pleasure, and enjoy sensation whatever that looks like. 

Sure, an orgasm or ejaculation might happen, but your pleasure and satisfaction isn’t dependent on if it does.

Masturbation = goal-oriented, which can enable performance anxiety.  Self-pleasure = pleasure-oriented, and reduces pressure for ‘performance’ to occur.

TO SLOW DOWN YOUR SELF-PLEASURE, I'D ENCOURAGE THIS

+ Expand your self-pleasure resources. Consider buying new toys, and using lubricants. Lubricants can be a great way to explore new sensation, especially with penetration. A water based lube is always recommended with silicone toys. You can also explore what it’s like to use different kinds of toys, whether that be vibrators, air suction technology, crystal, glass or metal wands.

+ Give yourself permission to take up time exploring. Set time aside to explore your body.

+ Consider Pleasure Mapping, an exercise you can learn more about here. 

+ Focus on all of your erogenous zones, not just your genitals. Notice what sensation feels good where.

+ Stay present in your body by checking in with your 5 senses. Notice the sights, sounds, touch, tastes or smells that build eroticism and arousal. 

Slowing down your pleasure practice can seem counter productive, or anxiety provoking for some. But really, it’s just about taking the time to be present in a body that has the ability to bring you pleasure, and appreciating that experience. 

We spend a lot of time in our heads; planning, thinking, processing, deliberating. So when you finally come into your body, whether that’s eating a meal, having a shower, or during solo sex, why not linger there? You may find that being embodied leads to more pleasure. 

There are so many benefits to solo sex, and self-pleasure. To broaden your satisfaction, consider slowing down your pleasure practice. This can help to reduce performance anxiety, and allow you to feel more embodied during solo sex. 

Discreet and easy-to-use, vibe is the original, 3-speed, flutter tip vibrator designed for focused external stimulation. Named Best-in-Show by The Strategist and featured in the MoMA Design Store.
<ul>
<li data-start="214" data-end="274">
3 powerful speeds for fully customizable stimulation
</li>
<li data-start="275" data-end="316">
1.5-hour runtime for extended use
</li>
<li data-start="317" data-end="366">
USB rechargeable for convenience anywhere
</li>
<li data-start="367" data-end="427">
Water-resistant for easy cleaning and versatile play
</li>
</ul>
<ul></ul>
HOW TO USE START 
To make things simple, there’s a single button that controls your device's on/off function and 3-speed vibration setting. Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting. Press again to get to the medium setting, a third time to get to the highest vibration, and again to cycle back to the lowest setting. The vibe is intended for external use. To turn off the vibe, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out once your device is off.
HOW TO USE END
EDITORS NOTES START 
Clean your device before and after every use. Use a mild, unscented soap and water, any silicone-friendly cleaner, or clean, our sanitizing spray. Natural canvas travel pouch included for storage.
EDITORS NOTES END

vibe - green

The G-spot is not a distinct part of your anatomy—it’s an erogenous zone that’s part of your larger clitoral network. Located close to the root of your clitoris, your G-spot is stimulated internally, typically by applying persistent stroking pressure against the front vaginal wall after you’re already aroused. We designed this tricked-out take on a G-spot stimulator to maximize pleasure during G-spot exploration: It’s curved at the perfect angle.
Dual-density silicone gives the tip an ultraplush feeling. And a self-heating function gently warms the vibrator to just above body temperature, which helps relax your muscles and promotes blood flow, which is ideal for sexual well-being. (And the heat makes it feel like a partner’s touch.)
There are ten vibration modes—three steady intensities and seven patterns—that can deliver a variety of sensations, from a gentle tingling to an intense rumbling. Of course, we used velvety-soft body-safe silicone, and it’s water-resistant for bath and shower play. 
EDITORS NOTES START
Rechargeable battery with battery-life display 
Hypoallergenic and nonporous 
Phthalate-free, latex-free, and BPA-free 
Travel lock and pouch
1-year warranty
The Ultraplush Self-Heating G-Spot Vibrator measures 8.5 inches long, with about 4.5 inches of insertable length. It’s 1.5 inches in diameter at its largest point.
EDITORS NOTES END
ABOUT THE BRAND START
<meta charset="utf-8">Founded by Gwyneth Paltrow, Goop Beauty believes in a new standard – redefining beauty as a form of wellness. <meta charset="utf-8">Every product is grounded in the belief that what we apply to our bodies should be as clean and conscious as what we put in them. <meta charset="utf-8">Goop blends clinical-grade actives with sensorial luxury, creating high-performance skincare, body care, hair care, and wellness products with a conscious effort to align with a clean, sustainable lifestyle. 
Now, goop meets Scandinavia through an exclusive partnership with us at Youtime. Rooted in a shared commitment to clean beauty, balance, and intentional living, this collaboration merges Los Angeles vitality with Scandinavian balance. Together, goop and Youtime invite you into a space where beauty rituals support mind, body, and spirit—and where wellness is a way of life.
ABOUT THE BRAND END

Ultraplush Self-Heating G-Spot Vibrator

shine organic 118ml

This little heart is a next-level clitoral stimulator. It has two powerful motors: One delivers a mix of vibrational patterns and intensities for broad or targeted sensations. The other creates a unique tapping motion that ranges from a gentle beat to an intense drumming. Play with them independently—each feature has three steady speeds and seven patterns—or combine them to feel it all at once.
A few more reasons to love Heartthrob: It’s made from silky-soft body-safe silicone, and it’s water-resistant for bath and shower play. And it’s USB rechargeable, with an LED battery-life display, so you’re never caught on low.
EDITORS NOTES START
3 vibrational speeds and 7 vibrational patterns
3 tapping speeds and 7 tapping patterns
Rechargeable battery with battery-life display
Water-resistant for bath or shower play
Ultrasmooth body-safe silicone
Hypoallergenic, nonporous
Phthalate-free, latex-free, BPA-free
1 year warranty
Travel lock
EDITORS NOTES END
ABOUT THE BRAND START
<meta charset="utf-8">Founded by Gwyneth Paltrow, Goop Beauty believes in a new standard – redefining beauty as a form of wellness. <meta charset="utf-8">Every product is grounded in the belief that what we apply to our bodies should be as clean and conscious as what we put in them. <meta charset="utf-8">Goop blends clinical-grade actives with sensorial luxury, creating high-performance skincare, body care, hair care, and wellness products with a conscious effort to align with a clean, sustainable lifestyle. 
Now, goop meets Scandinavia through an exclusive partnership with us at Youtime. Rooted in a shared commitment to clean beauty, balance, and intentional living, this collaboration merges Los Angeles vitality with Scandinavian balance. Together, goop and Youtime invite you into a space where beauty rituals support mind, body, and spirit—and where wellness is a way of life.
ABOUT THE BRAND END

Heartthrob Vibrator

spot is a hand-held, curved vibrator meant for internal stimulation. Intended as a g-spot or p-spot vibrator, it is complete with five speeds.
This soft-touch spot is made with 100% platinum-grade silicone (RoHs passed / FDA grade) and is a discreet, easy-to-use, 5-speed vibrator. spot has a battery indicator light that blinks when the battery is low, fades in and out when charging, and shines bright once fully charged. Comes with a natural canvas travel pouch perfect for storing the device. 
<ul data-mce-fragment="1" class="product-features f mt6">
<li data-mce-fragment="1" class="product-feature f">
5-speeds
</li>
<li data-mce-fragment="1" class="product-feature f" style="font-weight: bold;">
2 hour runtime
</li>
<li data-mce-fragment="1" class="product-feature f" style="font-weight: bold;">
usb-chargeable
</li>
<li data-mce-fragment="1" class="product-feature f" style="font-weight: bold;">
water-resistant
</li>
</ul>
HOW TO USE START 
<ol data-mce-fragment="1">
<li data-mce-fragment="1">To make things simple, there’s a single button to controls your device's on/off function and 5-speed vibration setting. Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting. Press again to get to the next setting and continue pressing to cycle up to the fifth and highest vibration. Press again to cycle back through to the lowest setting. The light will increase in brightness with each vibration level. To turn off spot, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out when it’s off. When the device needs to be charged, its battery light will blink.</li>
</ol>
HOW TO USE END 
EDITORS NOTES START 
<meta charset="utf-8">Clean your device before and after every use. Use a mild, unscented soap and water, any silicone-friendly cleaner, or clean, our sanitizing spray. Natural canvas travel pouch included for storage.
EDITORS NOTES END

spot - charcoal

Gwyneth says "So many vibrators look hypersexualized. They're either really phallic or look like something you would buy in a sex shop. I was really intrigued by the idea that this would be something that looked really pretty and cool, and that you could leave it on your nightstand without embarrassing yourself or somebody else. There's something very self-possessed about that."
Viva la Vulva is a clitoral stimulator made for deeply satisfying orgasms. Use your thumb and middle finger to grasp the gold sphere in the middle, then place the highest point of the arch on your clitoris—or wherever else feels good—for targeted stimulation. For broader vulva massage, the curve will help you find a rhythm.
Also notable: It’s ultraquiet. The surface is made of velvety-soft silicone. And the device has 10 vibration modes: three steady intensities and seven patterns. Go at it solo or pass the toy to a partner and explore its rumbly vibrations together.
EDITORS NOTES START
3 steady intensities and 7 vibrational patterns
Ergonomic curve for vulva massage
Rechargeable battery with battery-life display
Water-resistant for bath or shower play
Ultrasmooth body-safe silicone
Hypoallergenic, nonporous
Phthalate-free, latex-free, BPA-free
1-year warranty
EDITORS NOTES END
ABOUT THE BRAND START
<meta charset="utf-8">Founded by Gwyneth Paltrow, Goop Beauty believes in a new standard – redefining beauty as a form of wellness. <meta charset="utf-8">Every product is grounded in the belief that what we apply to our bodies should be as clean and conscious as what we put in them. <meta charset="utf-8">Goop blends clinical-grade actives with sensorial luxury, creating high-performance skincare, body care, hair care, and wellness products with a conscious effort to align with a clean, sustainable lifestyle. 
Now, goop meets Scandinavia through an exclusive partnership with us at Youtime. Rooted in a shared commitment to clean beauty, balance, and intentional living, this collaboration merges Los Angeles vitality with Scandinavian balance. Together, goop and Youtime invite you into a space where beauty rituals support mind, body, and spirit—and where wellness is a way of life.
ABOUT THE BRAND END

Viva la Vulva Vibrator

Discreet and easy-to-use, band is a 5-speed vibrating ring designed for shared stimulation. 
HOW TO USE START 
To make things simple, there’s a single button that controls the on/off settings and the five speed vibrations.
Apply lubricant to assist with device placement and removal. Lubricant can be applied to the part of the body or device that band will be placed on, as well as to the interior of band itself. 
Place band on a flaccid or semi-erect penis. Band can be placed at the base of the penis, along the shaft, or stretched and pulled over testicles and penis. The vibrating portion of the device can be placed above or underneath the penis. 
Band should feel comfortably snug, but should not cause pain or uncomfortable pressure. Remove band immediately if you experience pain, numbness, discoloration, or discomfort. Do not use or wear band for more than 30 minutes at a time.
HOW TO USE END

band

Coombe J,. et al. (2021). Love during lockdown: findings from an online survey examining the impact of COVID-19 on the sexual health of people living in Australia Sexually Transmitted Infections. 97:357-362.

Kauer S., et al. (2022). Victorian young people and sexual health 2018: findings from the 6th National Survey of Australian Secondary Students and Sexual Health. Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, La Trobe University; 131:136.

TENGA Self-Pleasure Report (2020). https://usstore.tenga.co/pages/globalreport


Sex therapist and Youtimer Aleksandra Trkulja encourages you to remove the goal from masturbation and slow down your solo sex practice to deepen your connection with self. 

Color

cone - charcoal

charcoal

spot is a hand-held, curved vibrator meant for internal stimulation. Intended as a g-spot or p-spot vibrator, it is complete with five speeds.
This soft-touch spot is made with 100% platinum-grade silicone (RoHs passed / FDA grade) and is a discreet, easy-to-use, 5-speed vibrator. spot has a battery indicator light that blinks when the battery is low, fades in and out when charging, and shines bright once fully charged. Comes with a natural canvas travel pouch perfect for storing the device. 
<ul class="product-features f mt6">
<li class="product-feature f">
5-speeds
</li>
<li class="product-feature f">
2 hour runtime
</li>
<li class="product-feature f">
usb-chargeable
</li>
<li class="product-feature f">
water-resistant
</li>
</ul>
HOW TO USE START 
<ol>
<li>To make things simple, there’s a single button to controls your device's on/off function and 5-speed vibration setting.</li>
<li>Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting.</li>
<li>Press again to get to the next setting and continue pressing to cycle up to the fifth and highest vibration. Press again to cycle back through to the lowest setting. The light will increase in brightness with each vibration level.</li>
<li>To turn off spot, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out when it’s off. When the device needs to be charged, its battery light will blink.</li>
</ol>
HOW TO USE END 
EDITORS NOTES START 
<meta charset="utf-8">Clean your device before and after every use. Use a mild, unscented soap and water, any silicone-friendly cleaner, or clean, our sanitizing spray. Natural canvas travel pouch included for storage.
EDITORS NOTES END

spot - grey

grey

Title

Default Title

Do you know the answer? Have you felt caught out by the question during sex? 

According to many of my sex therapy clients, the panic associated with this question is due to:

+ Being unable to communicate their needs, 

+ Know what their needs are in the first place. 

I am here to empower you with the sex-education you need to better understand how your sexual pleasure system works, how to foster sexual arousal, and two exercises to try to explore what you like. 

FIRST, LET´S UNDERSTAND THE SEXUAL PLEASURE SYSTEM

According to Emily Nagoski, author of ‘Come As You Are’, sexual pleasure is comprised of three components. 

These include, enjoying, expecting, and eagerness. These functions dictate how we process sexual, stressful, and emotional contexts.

The enjoying system is similar to how we understand rewards. It’s the “hell yes!” or “hell no!” mechanism in the brain. 

The enjoyment system manages your experience of sexual sensations.

The expecting system is the process of linking what’s happening now, with what should come next. 

The eagerness system fuels our desire to move toward something or away from things. When eagerness is activated within a sexual context, we seek sexual stimulation. 

Grab a notepad and pen. Give yourself 10 minutes (or more) to reflect on a recent sexual interaction and answer the following. 

Note: By reflecting on this, we now have a basic structure of your preference. You’re allowed to feel neutral toward things too!

+ If I’m kissing (etc.) with someone, what am I expecting will happen next?

+ Am I clear on what to expect from my sexual partner during sex?

+ If not, can I clarify with them? Am I expecting a negative reaction?

Note: If you notice this section is filled with anxious thoughts, it’s an indication communication needs to be more explicit, and happen ahead of a sexual interaction. 

+ What makes me want to move toward/away this person/position/behaviour?

+ Do I feel eagerness to seek safety? (This is an indication we’re under stress.) 

Note: Eagerness cues will help us identify what fosters our desire to move toward. 

Remember, these three functions work together. For example, if you are expecting performance anxiety during sex, you’ll be less eager to put yourself in that situation, and enjoy it less. 

The enjoying system is responsible for managing your experience of sexual sensation. A key component of sexual arousal is the quality of sexual stimulation, or how much you’re enjoying whatever’s happening.

Emily Nagoski defines sexual arousal as the mental and physical excitement felt toward the idea of sex. Sexual arousal is also impacted by how well stressors have been managed, and the person’s capacity to relax into sexual pleasure. 

Not enjoying the sexual stimulation you’re experiencing can act as a stressor, making it difficult to relax into sexual pleasure. 

Touch is the most effective sense to engage for sexual arousal. Erogenous zones are areas of the body that you experience pleasurable sensation through touch. 

Primary erogenous zones are areas that contain a dense concentration of nerve endings, and are often more sensitive to touch compared to other body parts. This includes ares of the genitals, anus, perineum, nipples, neck, armpits, mouth, nostrils, navel, ears, and inner thighs.  

‘Secondary’ erogenous zones are areas of the body that have become erotically sensitive through learning and experience. This can be pretty much any other part of the body that isn’t a primary erogenous zone. If your partner strokes you gently across your upper back, and tenderly kisses you there during every sexual interaction, this could form into a secondary erogenous zone.

So far we’ve explored the sexual pleasure system, sexual arousal, and erogenous zones. Now let’s put it all together with an exercise I often assign clients called Pleasure Mapping.

Pleasure Mapping is a self-pleasure exercise to explore sexual needs, and allow you to communicate them with partners. 

+ Prepare. Set aside uninterrupted time (roughly 30 minutes). 


+ Collect resources. Include a mirror, a notebook and pen, any sex toys or objects you’d like to stimulate yourself with. This might include lubricants, lingerie, soft fabrics, sheets, moisturiser, essential oils etc. 


+ Build a sexual context. Seduce yourself the way you might a sexual partner. You can do this by establishing sexy contexts like; taking a bath, moisturising your body, listening to music, eating something special. 


+ Genital mapping. Use your mirror to explore your anatomy, and label each structure, and non-judgmentally describe it out aloud. 


+ Take notes! Note what feels good, and what doesn’t. You may also note any body image, or sexual function concerns.


+ Identify your primary erogenous zones. Explore your erogenous zones using your resources.


+ Pleasure map. Use a variety of pace, pressure, and rhythm on erogenous zones. Ask yourself the ‘enjoying questions’ listed above. Repeat this process for other areas of your body. 

+ If you feel comfortable, practice pleasure mapping with a partner to explore how your experience differs. 

You’ll notice that orgasm, lubrication, or ejaculation are not a priority in this exercise. And that is deliberate. Slowing down your pleasure with your self or others will allow the space away from goal-oriented sex, and toward maximising pleasure.

vibe & shine kit

<div class="product-description rte p mt6">
<div class="metafield-rich_text_field">
Discreet and easy-to-use, drop is a 3-speed, palm-sized massager, intended as a full-body and erogenous zone massager and made to mimic the ball of a wand. 
</div>
</div>
<ul class="product-features f mt6">
<li class="product-feature f">
100% platinum-grade silicone (reach passed / fda grade)
</li>
<li class="product-feature f" style="font-weight: bold;">
3-speeds
</li>
<li class="product-feature f" style="font-weight: bold;">
2 hour runtime
</li>
<li class="product-feature f" style="font-weight: bold;">
Water-resistant
</li>
<li class="product-feature f" style="font-weight: bold;"><meta charset="utf-8"> Phthalate- and latex-free, soft-touch, 100% platinum-grade silicone exterior </li>
</ul>
HOW TO USE START 
To make things simple, there’s a single button that controls your device's on/off function and 3-speed vibration setting. Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting. Press again to get to the medium setting, a third time to get to the highest vibration, and again to cycle back to the lowest setting. Drop is intended for external use. To turn off drop®, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out once your device is off.
HOW TO USE END 
EDITORS NOTES START 
<meta charset="utf-8">Clean your device before and after every use. Use a mild, unscented soap and water, any silicone-friendly cleaner, or clean, our sanitizing spray. Natural canvas travel pouch included for storage.
EDITORS NOTES END

drop - green

burn no. 1 113g

Sex Therapist and Youtimer Aleksandra Trkulja takes the scary out of the sex conversation and talks us through learning what feels good for you. 

vibe - grey

<div class="product-description rte p mt6" data-mce-fragment="1">
<div class="metafield-rich_text_field" data-mce-fragment="1">
Discreet and easy-to-use, drop is a 3-speed, palm-sized massager, intended as a full-body and erogenous zone massager and made to mimic the ball of a wand. 
Phthalate- and latex-free, soft-touch, 100% platinum-grade silicone exterior 
</div>
</div>
<ul class="product-features f mt6" data-mce-fragment="1">
<li class="product-feature f" data-mce-fragment="1">
100% platinum-grade silicone (reach passed / fda grade)
</li>
<li class="product-feature f" data-mce-fragment="1" style="font-weight: bold;">
3-speeds
</li>
<li class="product-feature f" data-mce-fragment="1" style="font-weight: bold;">
2 hour runtime
</li>
<li class="product-feature f" data-mce-fragment="1" style="font-weight: bold;">
Water-resistant
</li>
</ul>
HOW TO USE START 
<ol>
<li>To make things simple, there’s a single button that controls your device's on/off function and 3-speed vibration setting.</li>
<li>Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting.</li>
<li>Press again to get to the medium setting, a third time to get to the highest vibration, and again to cycle back to the lowest setting. Drop is intended for external use.</li>
<li>To turn off drop®, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out once your device is off.</li>
</ol>
HOW TO USE END 
EDITORS NOTES START 
<meta charset="utf-8">Clean your device before and after every use. Use a mild, unscented soap and water, any silicone-friendly cleaner, or clean, our sanitizing spray. Natural canvas travel pouch included for storage.
EDITORS NOTES END

drop - grey

shine silicone

236ml

118ml

Pleasure Mapping: A Guide to Learning What You Like  

We're here for a good time. Sex Therapist Aleks Trkulja shares some fun new additions for your bedside table. 

As your resident sex therapist, I have covered how to get the most out of your solo self pleasure sessions in depth. And I want to encourage you to review the pleasure essentials you use in partner play. 

For most of you, those essentials will simply be your bodies, and some spit. Which is resourceful, sure; but it could be more hygienic and pleasurable. 

What are pleasure essentials? Your pleasure essentials will be unique to you, your partner, and the pleasure you share together. 

So to give you an idea, I’ll take you through my pleasure essentials. 

Did you know that the natural vaginal secretions are not supposed to be adequate lubricant for penetrative sex? 

This is because as a person with a vulva, discharge is influence by hormonal changes throughout the month, and can also be impacted by stress. My favourite silicone lube is Maude´s Shine lube.

Whatever you use to self pleasure, include it in partner play. And if that means toys then bring all the toys!!

When I am engaging in partner play, I will always bring 2-4 toys. I usually lay them out ahead of time and talk people through why I like them, or how they can be used to facilitate mine, or mutual pleasure. Usually people enjoy hearing about how you can experience pleasure. 

If anyone gets intimidated by you introducing toys, be inquisitive. What is it about toys that intimidate them? Observe how this issue has digressed away from your pleasure, toward their insecurity. You’re allowed to not go ahead if you feel like someone isn’t going to prioritise your pleasure.  

I want to normalise BYO-ing your sex toys to everything from a casual hookup, to sex with a long term partner. 

Right now I am absolutely loving Maude´s Spot vibrator!

We’re all out here trying to have a good, fun time, and one way to ensure that is to practice safer sex. 

An essential to my pleasure, is knowing what we’ve put in place to keep us safe from unwanted pregnancy or STI’s. This is an absolute necessity to your sexual health. 

So discuss the use of contraception, condoms, or dams ahead of a sexual interaction.

A dam is a barrier you create to prevent STI’s. You can make one from a condom by cutting it into a rectangle. You can then place the dam over body parts before putting your mouth or fingers there. 

This might seem like it’s just for those having casual sex, but if you’re not on contraception in a long term relationship, this can be an essential. 

You can learn how people like to be touched by asking: 

“Where do you want to be touched, and how?”

These are some of my pleasure essentials for partner play, which ones do you also use? Need more of? Or are curious to integrate?

The best way to incorporate pleasure essentials with partners (whether it’s casual or long-term), is to communicate about it before hand. So grab your partners, and have a chat about your pleasure essentials. 

The best lubricant, vibrators and massage oils for partner play.

What are the best toys to use with a partner?

As a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, Maude is on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people. When Maude set out to create a modern intimacy brand, they saw an industry long overdue for change. Maude saw out to create sexual wellness products that can be truly integrated into your world.

As a modern sexual wellness company built on quality, simplicity and inclusivity, Maude is on a mission to make intimacy better—for all people. When Maude set out to create a modern intimacy brand, they saw an industry long overdue for change. Maude saw out to create sexual wellness products that can be truly integrated into your world.

Immerse yourself in our world of holistic beauty and well-being and receive 10% off your first order.

Browse our teams selection of beauty and well-being brands and more.

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Sweden standard shipping with Post Nord and DHL, 39 kr for orders under 500 kr

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Immerse yourself in a world where you will be enlightened, delighted and inspired. Discover something new to you, learn from the experts, join the conversation.

Youtime is grounded in community, and we are on a mission to elevate the voices of creatives, experts, tastemakers and thought leaders who can open up our world to their unique experience and wisdom. We call them Youtimers.

  Discreet and easy-to-use, band is a 5-speed vibrating ring designed for shared stimulation.   
 HOW TO USE START  
 To make things simple, there’s a single button that controls the on/off settings and the five speed vibrations. 
 Apply lubricant to assist with device placement and removal. Lubricant can be applied to the part of the body or device that band will be placed on, as well as to the interior of band itself.  
 Place band on a flaccid or semi-erect penis. Band can be placed at the base of the penis, along the shaft, or stretched and pulled over testicles and penis. The vibrating portion of the device can be placed above or underneath the penis.  
  Band should feel comfortably snug, but should not cause pain or uncomfortable pressure. Remove band immediately if you experience pain, numbness, discoloration, or discomfort. Do not use or wear band for more than 30 minutes at a time.  
  HOW TO USE END   

This massage candle melts into a warm, silky oil to nourish skin and enhance touch. As it burns, the candle transforms into a lightweight, oil-based formula with a low melting point, creating a gentle warmth that feels comforting on the body.  
 <span data-sheets-root="1" data-sheets-value='{"1":2,"2":"Scent no. 2: blended with bright notes of pink pepper, gurjun balsam, lemon California, and cedarwood Virginia.\n\nMade with skin-softening jojoba and soybean oils, this hand-poured...

burn no. 0 113g

This massage candle melts into a warm, silky oil to nourish skin and enhance touch. As it burns, the candle transforms into a lightweight, oil-based formula with a low melting point, creating a gentle warmth that feels comforting on the body.  
 <span data-sheets-userformat='{"2":14337,"3":{"1":1},"14":{"1":3,"3":1},"15":"Calibri","16":11}' data-sheets-value='{"1":2,"2":"Scent no. 2: blended with bright notes of pink pepper, gurjun balsam, lemon California, and cedarwood Virginia....

This massage candle melts into a warm, silky oil to nourish skin and enhance touch. As it burns, the candle transforms into a lightweight, oil-based formula with a low melting point, creating a gentle warmth that feels comforting on the body.  
 <span data-sheets-userformat='{"2":14337,"3":{"1":1},"14":{"1":3,"3":1},"15":"Calibri","16":11}' data-sheets-value='{"1":2,"2":"Scent no. 2: blended with bright notes of pink pepper, gurjun balsam, lemon California, and cedarwood Virginia.\n\nMade with skin-sof...

burn no. 2 113g

This massage candle melts into a warm, silky oil to nourish skin and enhance touch. As it burns, the candle transforms into a lightweight, oil-based formula with a low melting point, creating a gentle warmth that feels comforting on the body.  
 <span data-sheets-root="1" data-sheets-value='{"1":2,"2":"Scent no. 2: blended with bright notes of pink pepper, gurjun balsam, lemon California, and cedarwood Virginia.\n\nMade with skin-softening jojoba and soybean oils, this hand-poured massage candle is mad...

burn no. 3 113g

Discreet and easy-to-use, cone is a small non-vibrating plug with a tapered shape and flared base designed for anal stimulation.  Made of 100% platinum-grade, soft-touch silicone, cone is phthalate- and latex-free, and waterproof. Comes with a natural canvas travel pouch perfect for storing cone. 
 HOW TO USE START  
 
 Whether solo or with a partner, the tapered end can be fully inserted into the anus, stopping at the flared base. We strongly suggest using an aloe- or water-based lubricant when inserting cone for ease and comfort, reapplying as needed. To remove, relax and slowly pull while gripping the flared base—using more lubricant. Be sure to clean thoroughly after use. 
 HOW TO USE END 
 <span data-sheets-userformat='{"...

   Discreet and easy-to-use, dome is a patented double-sided sleeve with a multi-textured interior designed for enhanced solo or partner play.  Soft and flexible, the sleeve responds to your grip—giving you full control over tightness, rhythm, and intensity.  
   Made from soft, stretchable silicone, dome creates a gentle, building pull that moves with you, along with distinct ridged and beaded interiors, dome delivers variety without complication  
   We recommend using Maude's organic aloe lubricant, or any other aloe- or water-based lubricant with silicone devices. Silicone lubricant is not recommended, as it may degrade the silicone of your device.  
  HOW TO USE START  
 To use, apply lubricant directly into the sleeve and onto penis. Insert penis into one of the two openings. Crafted in a soft, stretchable silicone, dome can accommodate a range of sizes .    There is an opening with a ridged interior at the base of dome and a second opening with a beaded interior at the top. Adjust the firmness of your grip as desired. 
 Do not attempt to warm this product in an oven or microwave. Keep away from sharp objects or abrasives. 
   Clean dome before and after every use with a mild, unscented soap and hot water or with any silicone-friendly device cleaner. To disinfect, boil for 10 minutes and air dry. Lay out dome to air dry completely before storing in canvas pouch.  
  HOW TO USE END      

dome

   Made with a low concentration of capsaicin, this water-based lubricant heat is designed to create a gentle warming sensation that builds with motion. Features a locking pump top. Safe for internal and external use.   
   Heat is recommended for those looking for increased sensation as an addition to solo or partner play. Note that during use with a partner, sensation will be experienced by a partner.  
 
 
 paraben-free 
 
 
 vegan-friendly 
 
 
 fragrance-free 
 
 
 HOW TO USE START 
   Use as needed to create a warming sensation while supplementing natural moisture. Begin with a small amount of product, and apply externally to clitoris or penis, or internally to g-spot or anus.  
 Store heat in a cool, dry place. Heat has been tested to confirm a 3 year shelf life. 
  HOW TO USE END  
  INGREDIENTS START   
   Water (Aqua), Glycerin, Propylene Glycol, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Chlorphenesin, Capsicum Frutescens Fruit Extract, PEG-60 Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Alcohol Denat.  
  INGREDIENTS END  
   

heat 118ml

   Formulated with a certified organic blend of jojoba, coconut, argan, and castor oils, this unscented body oil nourishes and softens skin from head to toe. Ideal for daily hydration, massage, or use as a bath oil.     
 
 
 paraben-free 
 
 
 phthalate- and sulfate-free 
 
 
 vegan-friendly and cruelty-free 
 
 
 cold-pressed plant oils 
 
 
 enriched with vitamins b and e, omega 6 and 9 
 
 
  HOW TO USE START   
   
  oil's gentle formula is recommended for daily use and safe for all skin types. For best use, pump oil five times onto your hands or skin. Liberally rub into skin as a massage or daily body oil. oil doubles as a moisturizing bath. To use, just add to warm water.  
  HOW TO USE END   
  INGREDIENTS START   
 Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride*, Argania Spinosa (Argan) Kernel Oil, Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil.** 
 *Fractionated Coconut Oil. 
 **Manufactured on equipment that also processes nuts. 
 INGREDIENTS END 
   

oil no. 0 118ml

A dermatologist-tested, moisturizing oil that can be used pre-shave to protect skin, soften hair, and to enhance the glide of a razor. Accommodates all levels of hair removal. Safe for external use, including sensitive areas, legs, underarms, and face. 
 HOW TO USE START  
 
 Shave is a concentrated oil blend. Apply a few drops and rub into skin. If not removing hair, the oil will soften skin and hair. If removing hair, wet skin and shave as usual. For areas with courser hair, use a shaving cream–the shave oil will provide additional glide and skin barrier protection. 
 <span data-sheets-userformat='{"2":14337,"3":{"1":1},"14":{"1":3,"3":1},"15":"Calibri","16":11}' data-sheets-value='{"1":2,"2":"Shave is a concentrated oil blend. Apply a few drops and rub into skin. If not removing hair, the oil will soften skin and hair. If removing hair, we...

shave 15ml

   Made with organic aloe, this ultra-hydrating lubricant is formulated for the ideal osmolality of the body. Features a locking pump top in 3 different sizes. Safe for use with devices and latex or polyisoprene condoms.  
   Use as needed to supplement your body's natural moisture during sex or for everyday hydration.  
 HOW TO USE START  
   Use as needed to supplement your body's natural moisture during sex or for everyday hydration. Apply externally to clitoris or penis, or internally to g-spot or anus, adding more product as desired.  
 Store shine organic in a cool, dry place. Shine organic has a two-year shelf life, and should be used within 12 months of opening. 
 HOW TO USE END 
 INGREDIENTS START  
   Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Propanediol, Tremella Fuciformis (Mushroom) Extract, Gluconolactone, Sodium Hyaluronate, Chenopodium Quinoa Seed Extract, Cannabis Sativa Seed Extract, Linum Usitatissimum (Linseed) Seed Extract, Camellia Sinensis Leaf Extract, Avena Sativa (Oat) Kernel Extract, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Xanthan Gum, Sodium Benzoate, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid.  
  INGREDIENTS END  

shine aloe

shine aloe 59ml

   This silicone lubricant enhances the ease and comfort of intimate sexual activity with long-lasting lubrication, even under water. Features a locking pump top in 8- and 4 fl. oz. sizes. Safe for use with all condoms. Do not use with silicone devices.  Shine silicone's water-safe, silicone-based formula is made to last. Never sticky, it rinses away with warm water and mild soap.   
 ph-neutral 
 paraben- and glycerin-free 
 vegan-friendly 
 hypoallergenic 
 fragrance-free 
 HOW TO USE START  
 Use as needed to supplement your body's natural moisture. Apply externally to clitoris or penis, or internally to g-spot or anus, adding more product as desired. Washes away with mild soap and warm water. We also recommend shine silicone for added lubrication under water or for use during anal sex. 
 Store shine silicone in a cool, dry place. Shine silicone has a two-year shelf life, and should be used within 12 months of opening. 
 HOW TO USE END  
 INGREDIENTS START  
   Dimethicone, Cyclopentasiloxane, Dimethiconol, Phenyl Trimethicone.  
  INGREDIENTS END  
   

shine silicone 59ml

Hydrating coconut milk bath. A gentle mixture of coconut milk powder softens and hydrates while pure, hand-harvested salts from the Southern Dead Sea infuse water with vitamins and minerals including magnesium, potassium, sulfur, zinc and more to increase circulation and detoxify the body. 
 Vegan Cruelty-free Made in Canada Paraben-free 
 <span data-sheets-root="1" data-sheets-value='{"1":2,"2":"hydrating coconut milk bath. A gentle mixture of coconut milk powder softens and hydrates while pure, hand-harvested salts from the Southern Dead Sea infuse water with vitamins and minerals including magnesium, potassium, sulfur, zinc and more to increase circulation and detoxify the body.\n\n○ Vegan\n○ Cruelty-free\n○ Made in Canada\n○ Paraben-free"}' data-sheets-userfor...

soak no. 1 226g

Nourishing mineral bath salts blended with fresh notes of eucalyptus, sandalwood, cassis, and Haitian vetiver. Made for solo or partner soaks, this salt blend softens and rejuvenates all bodies. Filled with hand-harvested salt crystals from the Southern Dead Sea, soak contains nourishing vitamins and minerals like magnesium, potassium, sulfur, zinc and more. 
 Cruelty-free Vegan Paraben-free Made in Canada 
 <span data-sheets-root="1" data-sheets-value='{"1":2,"2":"nourishing mineral bath salts blended with fresh notes of eucalyptus, sandalwood, cassis, and Haitian vetiver.\n\nM...

soak no. 3 226g

   A dermatologist-tested ingrown hair oil formulated to soften skin while soothing irritation. This moisturizing oil blend works to calm existing and prevent future ingrown hairs. Safe for external use, including sensitive areas, legs, underarms, and face.    
 
 
 paraben-free 
 
 
 phthalate- and sulfate-free 
 
 
 vegan-friendly and cruelty-free 
 
 
 lightly fragranced with lavender and lemongrass 
 
 
 HOW TO USE START  
 Soothe is a concentrated oil blend. Use 1-3 drops on ingrown hairs or post-shave on irritated areas as needed. Safe for sensitive skin. Do not use on broken skin. For external use only. 
 Store in a cool, dry place. 
 HOW TO USE END  
 INGREDIENTS START  
   Carthamus Tinctorius (Safflower) Seed Oil, Vitis Vinifera (Grape) Seed Oil, Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis (Sweet Almond) Oil, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil, Chamomilla Recutita Flower Oil, Oenothera Biennis (Evening Primrose) Oil, Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) Seed Oil, Tocopheryl Acetate, Melaleuca Alternifolia (Tea Tree) Leaf Oil, Lavandula Angustifolia (Lavender) Oil, Cymbopogon Flexuosus (Lemongrass) Oil, Farnesol, Linalool, Limonene.  
  INGREDIENTS END  

soothe 15ml

  spot is a hand-held, curved vibrator meant for internal stimulation. Intended as a g-spot or p-spot vibrator, it is complete with five speeds.  
 This soft-touch spot is made with 100% platinum-grade silicone (RoHs passed / FDA grade) and is a discreet, easy-to-use, 5-speed vibrator. spot has a battery indicator light that blinks when the battery is low, fades in and out when charging, and shines bright once fully charged. Comes with a natural canvas travel pouch perfect for storing the device.  
 
 
  5-speeds  
 
 
  2 hour runtime  
 
 
  usb-chargeable  
 
 
  water-resistant  
 
 
 HOW TO USE START  
 
 To make things simple, there’s a single button to controls your device's on/off function and 5-speed vibration setting. Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting. Press again to get to the next setting and continue pressing to cycle up to the fifth and highest vibration. Press again to cycle back through to the lowest setting. The light will increase in brightness with each vibration level. To turn off spot, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out when it’s off. When the device needs to be charged, its battery lig...

   spot is a hand-held, curved vibrator meant for internal stimulation. Intended as a g-spot or p-spot vibrator, it is complete with five speeds.  
 This soft-touch spot is made with 100% platinum-grade silicone (RoHs passed / FDA grade) and is a discreet, easy-to-use, 5-speed vibrator. spot has a battery indicator light that blinks when the battery is low, fades in and out when charging, and shines bright once fully charged. Comes with a natural canvas travel pouch perfect for storing the device. 
 5-speeds 
 2 hour runtime 
 usb-chargeable 
 water-resistant 
 HOW TO USE START  
 
 To make things simple, there’s a single button to controls your device's on/off function and 5-speed vibration setting. 
 Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting. 
 Press again to get to the next setting and continue pressing to cycle up to the fifth and highest vibration. Press again to cycle back through to the lowest setting. The light will increase in brightness with each vibration level. 
 To turn off spot, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out when it’s off. When the device needs to be charged, its battery light will blink. 
 
 HOW TO USE END  
 EDITORS NOTES START  
   Clean your device before and after every use. Use a mild, unscented soap and water, any silicone-friendly cleaner, or clean, our sanitizing spray. Natural canvas travel pouch included for storage.  
  EDITORS NOTES END  

   
  The tub kit® no. 2 features soak bath salts in scent no. 2, and bath, a coconut milk bath. Made for solo or partner soaks, these hand-harvested blends infuse water with nourishing vitamins and minerals.   
  Scent no. 2: blended with bright notes of pink pepper, gurjun balsam, lemon California, and cedarwood Virginia.   
  soak no. 2:�...

tub kit no. 2

 This kit pairs maude's best selling, soft touch external vibe and internal spot vibrator. 
  vibe:    Discreet and easy-to-use, vibe is our patented 3-speed, flutter tip vibrator designed for focused external stimulation. Named Best-in-Show by The Strategist and featured in the MoMA Design Store and the Musée des Arts Décoratifs (Louvre).  
  spot:    Discreet and easy-to-use, spot is our patented 5-speed, curved vibrator designed for g-spot or p-spot stimulation. Featured in the Musée des Arts Décoratifs (Louvre).  
  HOW TO USE START  
 To make things simple, there’s a single button to controls your device's on/off function and for the vibe a 3-speed vibration setting, whilst the spot has 5. 
 Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting. 
 Press again to get to the next setting and continue pressing to cycle up to the fifth and highest vibration. Press again to cycle back through to the lowest setting. The light will increase in brightness with each vibration level. 
 To turn off either vibe or spot, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out when it’s off. When the device needs to be charged, its battery light will blink. 
  HOW TO USE END  
  EDITORS NOTES START  
   Clean your device before and after every use. Use a mild, unscented soap and water, any silicone-friendly cleaner, or clean, our sanitizing spray. Natural canvas travel pouch included for storage.  
  EDITORS NOTES END  

vibe + spot kit

  Discreet and easy-to-use, vibe is the original, 3-speed, flutter tip vibrator designed for focused external stimulation. Named Best-in-Show by The Strategist and featured in the MoMA Design Store.  
 
 
  3 powerful speeds  for fully customizable stimulation 
 
 
  1.5-hour runtime  for extended use 
 
 
  USB rechargeable  for convenience anywhere 
 
 
  Water-resistant  for easy cleaning and versatile play 
 
 
  
 HOW TO USE START  
 To make things simple, there’s a single button that controls your device's on/off function and 3-speed vibration setting. Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting. Press again to get to the medium setting, a third time to get to the highest vibration, and again to cycle back to the lowest setting. The vibe is intended for external use. To turn off the vibe, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out once your device is off. 
 HOW TO USE END 
 EDITORS NOTES START  
  Clean your device before and after every use. Use a mild, unscented soap and water, any silicone-friendly cleaner, or clean, our sanitizing spray. Natural canvas travel pouch included for storage.  
  EDITORS NOTES END  

   Discreet and easy-to-use, vibe is the original, 3-speed, flutter tip vibrator designed for focused external stimulation. Named Best-in-Show by The Strategist and featured in the MoMA Design Store.  
 
 
  100% platinum-grade silicone (reach passed / fda grade)  
 
 
  3-speeds  
 
 
  1.5 hour runtime  
 
 
  usb-chargeable  
 
 
  water-resistant  
 
 
 HOW TO USE START  
 
 To make things simple, there’s a single button that controls your device's on/off function and 3-speed vibration setting. 
 Press the button once to turn it on and the LED light will go on—this is the lowest setting. 
 Press again to get to the medium setting, a third time to get to the highest vibration, and again to cycle back to the lowest setting. The vibe is intended for external use. 
 To turn off the vibe, press and hold the button down for longer than one second. The LED light will go out once your device is off. 
 
 HOW TO USE END 
 EDITORS NOTES START  
   Clean your device before and after every use. Use a mild, unscented soap and water, any silicone-friendly cleaner, or clean, our sanitizing spray. Natural canvas travel pouch included for storage.  
  EDITORS NOTES END  

A pH-balanced body wash fortified with essential vitamins. This fragrance-free formula gently cleanses skin and intimate areas without any irritation, and doubles as a relaxing bubble bath for one person (or more). 
 Contains omega-3, 6, 0 and vitamins B3, B5, C, and E. 
 HOW TO USE START  
 
 wash's gentle pH-balanced formula is recommended for daily use and safe for all skin types. In the shower, gently massage all over the body. Rinse thoroughly. For a bubble bath, pour generously into warm, running water. 
 <span data-sheets-root="1" data-sheets-value="{&quot;1&quot;:2,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;wash's gentle pH-balanced formula is recommended for daily use and safe for all skin types. In the shower, gently massage all...

wash no. 0 354ml

Warming notes of amber, cedar leaf, lemongrass. 
 A pH-balanced body wash fortified with essential vitamins. The scent no. 1 formula gently cleanses skin and intimate areas without any irritation, and doubles as a relaxing bubble bath for one person (or more). Contains omega-3, 6, 0 and vitamins B3, B5, C, and E. 
 HOW TO USE START  
 
 <span data-sheets-userformat='{"2":14337,"3":{"1":1},"14":{"1":3,"3":1},"15":"Calibri","16":11}' data-sheets-value="{&quot;1&quot;:2,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;wash's gentle pH-balanced formula is recommended for daily use and safe for all skin types. In the shower, gently massage all over the body. Rinse thoroughly. For a bubble bath, po...

wash no. 1 354ml

Blended with bright notes of pink pepper, gurjun balsam, lemon California, and cedarwood Virginia. 
 A pH-balanced body wash fortified with essential vitamins. The sent no. 2 formula gently cleanses skin and intimate areas without any irritation, and doubles as a relaxing bubble bath for one person (or more). Contains omega-3, 6, 0 and vitamins B3, B5, C, and E. 
 HOW TO USE START  
 
 <span data-sheets-userformat='{"2":14337,"3":{"1":1},"14":{"1":3,"3":1},"15":"Calibri","16":11}' data-sheets-value="{&quot;1&quot;:2,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;wash's gentle pH-balanced form...

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